Before the YES: the story behind our adoption journey

This is Part 1 of a 6-part series: Our Adoption Journey – From Hope to Home.

We didn’t arrive at adoption through a sudden revelation. There was no single moment, no lightning bolt of clarity. It came slowly, quietly — the way the most important things in life usually do.

It started with a dream we thought was simple

When my husband and I got married, we were ready. Ready for the next chapter, ready to become parents, ready to build the family we had always imagined. We started trying almost immediately — back in 2015 — and life was full and busy and good. We trained hard, joined a Spartan Race team, built friendships, lived fully.

But the months kept passing.

The losses that broke us open

In 2017, hope flickered. My pregnancy test turned positive — and for a few weeks, we let ourselves dream. But at eight weeks, there was no heartbeat. Our doctor encouraged us to keep trying. We did.

Another year passed. Then came the tests, the diagnoses, the difficult conversations in sterile offices. IVF. Failed stimulation. Hormone levels that refused to cooperate no matter what we tried.

We changed everything. Our diet, our lifestyle, our routines. I gave up refined carbohydrates and sugar, tracked every vitamin, tried acupuncture, rented a Bemer mat, drank more aloe vera than I care to admit. We kept going because stopping felt like giving up.

Then in late 2019 — a Christmas miracle. Another positive test.

And then, at eight weeks, silence again.

I fell apart. Completely.

COVID, quiet, and a little dog named Stella

The timing couldn’t have been harder. COVID arrived, lockdowns began, and suddenly I was alone with my grief in a way that felt suffocating. My husband went to the office. I worked from home. The days blurred into each other.

I thought: maybe a puppy would help.

I’d always loved Jack Russells, but a purebred felt out of reach. Then a friend mentioned an animal rescue foundation. I started following them online, scrolling through photos of dogs waiting for homes — and then I saw her.

White and brown. Tiny. Looking straight at the camera.

Stella.

We adopted her. And she changed everything.

What a dog adopton journey taught us about Love

Stella gave our days structure and our hearts something to pour into. She needed us — completely, unconditionally — and we rose to meet her. We learned what it felt like to be fully responsible for a small life. To watch someone thrive because of the love you give them.

We loved her fiercely. Not because she shared our DNA. Not because she was born from us. Simply because she was her — and she was ours.

And somewhere in the middle of all those morning walks and evening cuddles, a thought began to form:

If I can love this little creature this completely… maybe the love doesn’t come from biology at all. Maybe it comes from showing up. From choosing. From staying.

Stella is still with us today — our furry firstborn, as much a part of this family as anyone. 🐾 And in many ways, she was the one who opened the door.

The slow yes: our adoption journey begins

My husband and I had always been honest with each other about our fears. We talked openly about the doubts, the what-ifs, the weight of the unknown. Neither of us pushed the other.

And then — almost at the same time, as if we had been walking parallel paths that quietly converged — we both arrived at the same place.

Open. Ready. Willing to say yes.

Not because we had run out of other options. But because we had learned, through loss and love and one small spotted dog, that family isn’t only built from biology.

It’s built from choice. From courage. From an open heart.

Next up — Part 2: We Said Yes – What Happened After We Applied.
In the meantime, learn more about us on our About me page.

If this story resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay. You can subscribe below to follow our adoption journey — from the very beginning, all the way home.

FAQ — Before the yes

How long did it take you to decide on adoption? For us it was a gradual process over several years — shaped by loss, by love, and by an unexpected teacher named Stella. There was no single moment of decision, just a slow and quiet opening of our hearts.

Did you consider other options before adoption? Yes — we tried naturally for years, went through IVF, lifestyle changes, and a donor egg program. Adoption was not our Plan B. It became our path when we were ready to follow it.

How did you know you were ready to adopt? We knew when we realised that the love we felt for Stella — our rescue dog — had nothing to do with biology. That was the moment everything shifted.

Is it normal to feel scared before starting the adoption process? Completely normal. We were both frightened and uncertain. What helped us was talking openly with each other — about every fear, every doubt, every hope. For more support and resources on starting your adoption journey, Adoptive Families is a wonderful place to start.

What advice would you give to someone considering adoption? Give yourself time to arrive at it honestly. Don’t rush the yes. When it comes from a genuine place of openness — not desperation — every adoption journey is different.